My little boy is 18 months old today. It's reminding me that time really does fly. In 6 months time, my little boy will be two. In eight, my baby will be 1. Where will I be? Possibly huge by Lucas' second birthday, and possibly in the hospital by Marcus' 1st. Which means I have no clue what I'm going to do.
Still, my little boy is 18 months, and I want to celebrate that fact. I don't know why, but I do. Both boys are getting needles on Monday, which should be...interesting. Lucas will go first. He's too smart to not go first.
Day 40, and counting.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Flip Flop
So, 34 days late (technically 35 since it's after midnight) and I'm still flip flopping on (possibly) being pregnant. I want to, and yet I don't. I do want my children close together, and I really do want another little one. I do need to lose the weight, and get these headaches checked out. So I flip flop, and I'll admit it, I'm scared. I'm afraid of what Eli's response will be, I'm afraid of the rest of the family. I'm afraid of my own reaction (to if I am, and if I'm not), and I'm frightened of what another pregnancy will bring.
I also can't bring myself to say anything to Eli because I'm scared. I can't figure out a way to make him say to test. I'm afraid of getting a test, testing, and then showing Eli a test he didn't know I'd bought and taken. I don't know how I would say it.
The only people I've shared these fear with, can't tell Eli (with one exception). I don't know what to do, or how to explain anything, and I'm starting to stress. I'm passed the freaking out stage, and into the whole "Am I, or Am I Not." Not to mention the "what should I do?" phase. Blah. There, I've said it.
I also can't bring myself to say anything to Eli because I'm scared. I can't figure out a way to make him say to test. I'm afraid of getting a test, testing, and then showing Eli a test he didn't know I'd bought and taken. I don't know how I would say it.
The only people I've shared these fear with, can't tell Eli (with one exception). I don't know what to do, or how to explain anything, and I'm starting to stress. I'm passed the freaking out stage, and into the whole "Am I, or Am I Not." Not to mention the "what should I do?" phase. Blah. There, I've said it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
First Hike
Today we took Lucas and Marcus for their first hike. While Marcus may not have seen much action wise (he was in his car seat in the stroller) Lucas had a blast. First he walked down the hill with Daddy, and a little ways down the trail with Mommy. It was then into the stroller, and I handed him a stick so that he could enjoy the experience all that much more.
We ended up watching some little birds fly around, and Lucas playing with his stick, before we had to turn back. At one point he was leaning over the side of the stroller (strapped in, just so everyone knows) watching the wheels. Eventually we turned him to face us as he started to fall asleep (had to pick his stick back up), and handed him bear. By the time we got to he car, he was passed out.
Overall, a good experience.
We ended up watching some little birds fly around, and Lucas playing with his stick, before we had to turn back. At one point he was leaning over the side of the stroller (strapped in, just so everyone knows) watching the wheels. Eventually we turned him to face us as he started to fall asleep (had to pick his stick back up), and handed him bear. By the time we got to he car, he was passed out.
Overall, a good experience.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Block Towers
So Lucas finally made his first block tower. By now though, it has been destroyed, so I didn't get a real chance to take a picture. Okay, I realized I need to clarify it a touch more, it was his first, Mega Blocks tower. He's built other towers before.
So in one week I ended up losing 4 of 5 pounds that I want to lose in two weeks. I have also ended up hurting my back, and now my hip has gone all funny. So yeah, that's my life at the moment. I'm considering going downstairs and playing Wii though, just for some more excercise fun. I honestly think though that I'm losing like I am because I'm breastfeeding, and doing the basic belly dancing moves at every chance I get.
Off to go play now! Well...set it up anyway.
So in one week I ended up losing 4 of 5 pounds that I want to lose in two weeks. I have also ended up hurting my back, and now my hip has gone all funny. So yeah, that's my life at the moment. I'm considering going downstairs and playing Wii though, just for some more excercise fun. I honestly think though that I'm losing like I am because I'm breastfeeding, and doing the basic belly dancing moves at every chance I get.
Off to go play now! Well...set it up anyway.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Mommy Time
Well, what can I say, I've finally gotten to the point that I have time to myself, and I'm not talking about sit at the computer and rock Marcus kind of time to myself. I'm talking about the plain and simple, me and no one else time. I'm also excluding the take time to write my novel. So someone has to wonder what I've decided to do in that time, and well, I'm learning to belly dance. I have to use video's online, but hey, it's better then sitting here doing nothing!
Besides, this should help me with my new bi-weekly goals, 5 pounds every two weeks until I lose 50 pounds. I plan on doing this at least 15 minutes a day, and up to 30 minutes. This is on top of any walking, running up and downstairs, and any other excerise I choose to do. As to a change in diet, I'm doing that a little more slowly then I could, but that's because I'm getting together recipes and other fun stuff.
Another plan of mine is to start making dinners I can store in the freezer (once we finally have a big one) for Monday, Tuesday and possibly Thursday nights. Saturday and Sunday are my MIL's cooking days (though maybe I'll bring somethign over now and then), Wednesday nights will start being me cooking happily, and Friday nights will vary. I'm also planning on starting to pack Eli's lunches, but don't tell him that if you ever get the chance. I want it to be a nice surprise. So the 18 of this month is my bi-weekly weight in to see if I've lost the 5 pounds. I'll address that in another post, once I know.
Besides, this should help me with my new bi-weekly goals, 5 pounds every two weeks until I lose 50 pounds. I plan on doing this at least 15 minutes a day, and up to 30 minutes. This is on top of any walking, running up and downstairs, and any other excerise I choose to do. As to a change in diet, I'm doing that a little more slowly then I could, but that's because I'm getting together recipes and other fun stuff.
Another plan of mine is to start making dinners I can store in the freezer (once we finally have a big one) for Monday, Tuesday and possibly Thursday nights. Saturday and Sunday are my MIL's cooking days (though maybe I'll bring somethign over now and then), Wednesday nights will start being me cooking happily, and Friday nights will vary. I'm also planning on starting to pack Eli's lunches, but don't tell him that if you ever get the chance. I want it to be a nice surprise. So the 18 of this month is my bi-weekly weight in to see if I've lost the 5 pounds. I'll address that in another post, once I know.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Buckets Are Fun!
I've realized just how much I have forgotten that's fun, because of my age (lol, and that's saying something for 21). I realized things now that have practical uses also have their fun and amusing uses as well. I love having children around to remind you!
Last night, Lucas was being a silly little boy again, and putting things into a bucket, then turning them around, around and around in the bucket until they all fell out. he had shoved the small bucket into a bigger bucket so he could do this properly. After emptying the bucket, he decided that he was going to put it on his head. Well, as soon as he heard me laughing with my mother-in-law, he started pulling it on and off, on and off. Once the fun of that started to wear off a bit, he decided to try a new game.
So he brought the bucket over to me, so I took it and put it on my head. Well that just started a whole lot more fun. He'd put it on me, then put it on him, then on me a few more times. He even put it on his grandma's head a few times. So we called down Eli, and he did it to Eli. Eventually he wanted to walk around with it on his head. This made me uneasy because he already had a black eye from having shoes on his hands. So I grabbed his bear, and asked him to give me the bucket (which he did) and I put it on bear. He loved it, and would take it off, then put it on and hug bear. Finally I just put bear in, and he pushed bear around in it. Not to soon after that, he went to bed.
Buckets are fun.
Last night, Lucas was being a silly little boy again, and putting things into a bucket, then turning them around, around and around in the bucket until they all fell out. he had shoved the small bucket into a bigger bucket so he could do this properly. After emptying the bucket, he decided that he was going to put it on his head. Well, as soon as he heard me laughing with my mother-in-law, he started pulling it on and off, on and off. Once the fun of that started to wear off a bit, he decided to try a new game.
So he brought the bucket over to me, so I took it and put it on my head. Well that just started a whole lot more fun. He'd put it on me, then put it on him, then on me a few more times. He even put it on his grandma's head a few times. So we called down Eli, and he did it to Eli. Eventually he wanted to walk around with it on his head. This made me uneasy because he already had a black eye from having shoes on his hands. So I grabbed his bear, and asked him to give me the bucket (which he did) and I put it on bear. He loved it, and would take it off, then put it on and hug bear. Finally I just put bear in, and he pushed bear around in it. Not to soon after that, he went to bed.
Buckets are fun.
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