My little boy is 18 months old today. It's reminding me that time really does fly. In 6 months time, my little boy will be two. In eight, my baby will be 1. Where will I be? Possibly huge by Lucas' second birthday, and possibly in the hospital by Marcus' 1st. Which means I have no clue what I'm going to do.
Still, my little boy is 18 months, and I want to celebrate that fact. I don't know why, but I do. Both boys are getting needles on Monday, which should be...interesting. Lucas will go first. He's too smart to not go first.
Day 40, and counting.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Flip Flop
So, 34 days late (technically 35 since it's after midnight) and I'm still flip flopping on (possibly) being pregnant. I want to, and yet I don't. I do want my children close together, and I really do want another little one. I do need to lose the weight, and get these headaches checked out. So I flip flop, and I'll admit it, I'm scared. I'm afraid of what Eli's response will be, I'm afraid of the rest of the family. I'm afraid of my own reaction (to if I am, and if I'm not), and I'm frightened of what another pregnancy will bring.
I also can't bring myself to say anything to Eli because I'm scared. I can't figure out a way to make him say to test. I'm afraid of getting a test, testing, and then showing Eli a test he didn't know I'd bought and taken. I don't know how I would say it.
The only people I've shared these fear with, can't tell Eli (with one exception). I don't know what to do, or how to explain anything, and I'm starting to stress. I'm passed the freaking out stage, and into the whole "Am I, or Am I Not." Not to mention the "what should I do?" phase. Blah. There, I've said it.
I also can't bring myself to say anything to Eli because I'm scared. I can't figure out a way to make him say to test. I'm afraid of getting a test, testing, and then showing Eli a test he didn't know I'd bought and taken. I don't know how I would say it.
The only people I've shared these fear with, can't tell Eli (with one exception). I don't know what to do, or how to explain anything, and I'm starting to stress. I'm passed the freaking out stage, and into the whole "Am I, or Am I Not." Not to mention the "what should I do?" phase. Blah. There, I've said it.
Monday, February 16, 2009
First Hike
Today we took Lucas and Marcus for their first hike. While Marcus may not have seen much action wise (he was in his car seat in the stroller) Lucas had a blast. First he walked down the hill with Daddy, and a little ways down the trail with Mommy. It was then into the stroller, and I handed him a stick so that he could enjoy the experience all that much more.
We ended up watching some little birds fly around, and Lucas playing with his stick, before we had to turn back. At one point he was leaning over the side of the stroller (strapped in, just so everyone knows) watching the wheels. Eventually we turned him to face us as he started to fall asleep (had to pick his stick back up), and handed him bear. By the time we got to he car, he was passed out.
Overall, a good experience.
We ended up watching some little birds fly around, and Lucas playing with his stick, before we had to turn back. At one point he was leaning over the side of the stroller (strapped in, just so everyone knows) watching the wheels. Eventually we turned him to face us as he started to fall asleep (had to pick his stick back up), and handed him bear. By the time we got to he car, he was passed out.
Overall, a good experience.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Block Towers
So Lucas finally made his first block tower. By now though, it has been destroyed, so I didn't get a real chance to take a picture. Okay, I realized I need to clarify it a touch more, it was his first, Mega Blocks tower. He's built other towers before.
So in one week I ended up losing 4 of 5 pounds that I want to lose in two weeks. I have also ended up hurting my back, and now my hip has gone all funny. So yeah, that's my life at the moment. I'm considering going downstairs and playing Wii though, just for some more excercise fun. I honestly think though that I'm losing like I am because I'm breastfeeding, and doing the basic belly dancing moves at every chance I get.
Off to go play now! Well...set it up anyway.
So in one week I ended up losing 4 of 5 pounds that I want to lose in two weeks. I have also ended up hurting my back, and now my hip has gone all funny. So yeah, that's my life at the moment. I'm considering going downstairs and playing Wii though, just for some more excercise fun. I honestly think though that I'm losing like I am because I'm breastfeeding, and doing the basic belly dancing moves at every chance I get.
Off to go play now! Well...set it up anyway.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Mommy Time
Well, what can I say, I've finally gotten to the point that I have time to myself, and I'm not talking about sit at the computer and rock Marcus kind of time to myself. I'm talking about the plain and simple, me and no one else time. I'm also excluding the take time to write my novel. So someone has to wonder what I've decided to do in that time, and well, I'm learning to belly dance. I have to use video's online, but hey, it's better then sitting here doing nothing!
Besides, this should help me with my new bi-weekly goals, 5 pounds every two weeks until I lose 50 pounds. I plan on doing this at least 15 minutes a day, and up to 30 minutes. This is on top of any walking, running up and downstairs, and any other excerise I choose to do. As to a change in diet, I'm doing that a little more slowly then I could, but that's because I'm getting together recipes and other fun stuff.
Another plan of mine is to start making dinners I can store in the freezer (once we finally have a big one) for Monday, Tuesday and possibly Thursday nights. Saturday and Sunday are my MIL's cooking days (though maybe I'll bring somethign over now and then), Wednesday nights will start being me cooking happily, and Friday nights will vary. I'm also planning on starting to pack Eli's lunches, but don't tell him that if you ever get the chance. I want it to be a nice surprise. So the 18 of this month is my bi-weekly weight in to see if I've lost the 5 pounds. I'll address that in another post, once I know.
Besides, this should help me with my new bi-weekly goals, 5 pounds every two weeks until I lose 50 pounds. I plan on doing this at least 15 minutes a day, and up to 30 minutes. This is on top of any walking, running up and downstairs, and any other excerise I choose to do. As to a change in diet, I'm doing that a little more slowly then I could, but that's because I'm getting together recipes and other fun stuff.
Another plan of mine is to start making dinners I can store in the freezer (once we finally have a big one) for Monday, Tuesday and possibly Thursday nights. Saturday and Sunday are my MIL's cooking days (though maybe I'll bring somethign over now and then), Wednesday nights will start being me cooking happily, and Friday nights will vary. I'm also planning on starting to pack Eli's lunches, but don't tell him that if you ever get the chance. I want it to be a nice surprise. So the 18 of this month is my bi-weekly weight in to see if I've lost the 5 pounds. I'll address that in another post, once I know.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Buckets Are Fun!
I've realized just how much I have forgotten that's fun, because of my age (lol, and that's saying something for 21). I realized things now that have practical uses also have their fun and amusing uses as well. I love having children around to remind you!
Last night, Lucas was being a silly little boy again, and putting things into a bucket, then turning them around, around and around in the bucket until they all fell out. he had shoved the small bucket into a bigger bucket so he could do this properly. After emptying the bucket, he decided that he was going to put it on his head. Well, as soon as he heard me laughing with my mother-in-law, he started pulling it on and off, on and off. Once the fun of that started to wear off a bit, he decided to try a new game.
So he brought the bucket over to me, so I took it and put it on my head. Well that just started a whole lot more fun. He'd put it on me, then put it on him, then on me a few more times. He even put it on his grandma's head a few times. So we called down Eli, and he did it to Eli. Eventually he wanted to walk around with it on his head. This made me uneasy because he already had a black eye from having shoes on his hands. So I grabbed his bear, and asked him to give me the bucket (which he did) and I put it on bear. He loved it, and would take it off, then put it on and hug bear. Finally I just put bear in, and he pushed bear around in it. Not to soon after that, he went to bed.
Buckets are fun.
Last night, Lucas was being a silly little boy again, and putting things into a bucket, then turning them around, around and around in the bucket until they all fell out. he had shoved the small bucket into a bigger bucket so he could do this properly. After emptying the bucket, he decided that he was going to put it on his head. Well, as soon as he heard me laughing with my mother-in-law, he started pulling it on and off, on and off. Once the fun of that started to wear off a bit, he decided to try a new game.
So he brought the bucket over to me, so I took it and put it on my head. Well that just started a whole lot more fun. He'd put it on me, then put it on him, then on me a few more times. He even put it on his grandma's head a few times. So we called down Eli, and he did it to Eli. Eventually he wanted to walk around with it on his head. This made me uneasy because he already had a black eye from having shoes on his hands. So I grabbed his bear, and asked him to give me the bucket (which he did) and I put it on bear. He loved it, and would take it off, then put it on and hug bear. Finally I just put bear in, and he pushed bear around in it. Not to soon after that, he went to bed.
Buckets are fun.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Black Eye, Two Teeth, and a Milestone
I guess at some point in had to happen. Lucas got his first black eye from walking! He got it last night. He had decided to walk around with his shoes on his hands. My mother-in-law has the photos that I'll have to get from her at one point or another. Anyway, for some reason he turned away from us, and the next thing I know he's crying. My MIL said he fell and hit his eye. My poor little boy. It looked really angry last night, but it wasn't as sever looking as it did originally. He also has a small cut from it.
To top things off, he's had another tooth break through, and another one that's jus tabout to. I'm glad he gets them in sets of two rather then just one at a time. It makes the whole process quicker. Mind you he did take forever to get his first tooth (and the second one just days later). I wonder if it will take Marcus forever, or he'll go quickly. Hard to say.
As for the milestone, this one goes out to Marcus. He just lifted his chest up off the ground, and supported it for about half a minute with his arms. Needless to say, I'm shocked. He's growing up WAY to quickly!
To top things off, he's had another tooth break through, and another one that's jus tabout to. I'm glad he gets them in sets of two rather then just one at a time. It makes the whole process quicker. Mind you he did take forever to get his first tooth (and the second one just days later). I wonder if it will take Marcus forever, or he'll go quickly. Hard to say.
As for the milestone, this one goes out to Marcus. He just lifted his chest up off the ground, and supported it for about half a minute with his arms. Needless to say, I'm shocked. He's growing up WAY to quickly!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The 2 W's: Writing and Winter
First of all, Marcus gave me his first giggle yesterday. It's as cute as he is.
Anyway, I've started writing this so that people can know what's going on with the boys and in our life, but I've also started this so that I could have somewhere to just write about something that isn't involved with my novel. Something where grammatical errors are not important, and where if I misspell something, it's not the end of the world to me. It's also something I don't have to go over 15 million times to be sure I have everything I want and need in it. It's also a place I can just sit there, type up a post to get the juices going. So yes, I have multiple reason for writing this.
As to my novel, well, at this point I don't want to say much. It's not that I'm afraid of my ideas being stolen, or I just don't like people reading my work, it's just I want it done before most people get a really good read of it. I am though looking for 2 or 3 people to read it over looking for grammatical and spelling errors for free, and to also give me their opinion on how it's flowing and just how it is in general. I'm not going to pay for it at all, this would be something you'd take on for free. Not to mention if I ever found out you gave it to someone, well...it's hard to say what I'd do at this point. I'm very protective of my work.
Anyway, that's said and done. Now I wanted to talk about winter with two under two, being a SAHM, and not being able to drive for multiple reasons (no licence and headaches being the main two.) I'm honestly not a fan of the evil white fluffy stuff that falls from the sky (EWFS). So I have a few friends around where I am, that I could easily go and visit, the problem is the EWFS. I can't take my stroller out when it's falling, cant take it out for three or four days later because people can't shovel their sidewalks. I can't take Lucas out front to enjoy (we have very little in terms of yard) because he doesn't have a snow suit and boots, plus I can't just leave his brother inside alone.
Now one thing I hope to enjoy is the tobbogan that Lucas was given for Christmas last year. I'd have to do this at Eli's parents because that's where it is, and they have a huge amount of property. I can put his winter coat on, shove his shoes on, put his hat and mitts on, then bundle him in a blanket and take him out for a ride. My problem is we keep forgetting the missing bar of wax.
I just notice the wax was missing!!!!
Anyway. It also means that Marcus gets some quality time with Grandma, which makes me happy because I get a break from the fussing that's he's been doing since I got my period. Still, my plans are to take Lucas out into the EWFS and pull him around in a tobogan. LOL, now if we could only train the dogs to pull him around.
Anyway, I've started writing this so that people can know what's going on with the boys and in our life, but I've also started this so that I could have somewhere to just write about something that isn't involved with my novel. Something where grammatical errors are not important, and where if I misspell something, it's not the end of the world to me. It's also something I don't have to go over 15 million times to be sure I have everything I want and need in it. It's also a place I can just sit there, type up a post to get the juices going. So yes, I have multiple reason for writing this.
As to my novel, well, at this point I don't want to say much. It's not that I'm afraid of my ideas being stolen, or I just don't like people reading my work, it's just I want it done before most people get a really good read of it. I am though looking for 2 or 3 people to read it over looking for grammatical and spelling errors for free, and to also give me their opinion on how it's flowing and just how it is in general. I'm not going to pay for it at all, this would be something you'd take on for free. Not to mention if I ever found out you gave it to someone, well...it's hard to say what I'd do at this point. I'm very protective of my work.
Anyway, that's said and done. Now I wanted to talk about winter with two under two, being a SAHM, and not being able to drive for multiple reasons (no licence and headaches being the main two.) I'm honestly not a fan of the evil white fluffy stuff that falls from the sky (EWFS). So I have a few friends around where I am, that I could easily go and visit, the problem is the EWFS. I can't take my stroller out when it's falling, cant take it out for three or four days later because people can't shovel their sidewalks. I can't take Lucas out front to enjoy (we have very little in terms of yard) because he doesn't have a snow suit and boots, plus I can't just leave his brother inside alone.
Now one thing I hope to enjoy is the tobbogan that Lucas was given for Christmas last year. I'd have to do this at Eli's parents because that's where it is, and they have a huge amount of property. I can put his winter coat on, shove his shoes on, put his hat and mitts on, then bundle him in a blanket and take him out for a ride. My problem is we keep forgetting the missing bar of wax.
I just notice the wax was missing!!!!
Anyway. It also means that Marcus gets some quality time with Grandma, which makes me happy because I get a break from the fussing that's he's been doing since I got my period. Still, my plans are to take Lucas out into the EWFS and pull him around in a tobogan. LOL, now if we could only train the dogs to pull him around.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Officially a Mom of a Toddler
So Lucas finally started walking on his grandma's 49th birthday. At 1 year, 4 months, 2 weeks and 6 days old, he finally decided to start walking. Yes, I did say decided, not learned. I've known he's been able to do it since his first birthday from the way he would cruise around the furniture, or the way he'd stand up in the middle of the floor. I remember being so happy on January 2 of this year when he finally took his first step, and then another. I watched as he took eight steps towards daddy, then another dozen or so, and thought, this is it. It wasn't though, he decided he was bound to crawl.
Then last night I turned around to see him walking, and he sat down. I asked him if he was walking behind my back all the time. That was it though, he started walking lots. Life changes yet again, as we finally hit a milestone we've been wanting to hit for a long time. I don't think Lucas realizes just how proud and excited we are. He loves the attention he's getting from it all though, and I don't blame him one bit (he loves the limelight).
So yes, I'm not officially a mom of a toddler, and you know what, I'm not worried one bit. I don't feel I have a reason to be. I know what's suppose to come ahead, but Lucas is a good enough little boy (he's no longer a baby) that I'm not too worried. I miss him being that little baby boy, but I welcome this new stage of life with a huge embrace.
Our next adventure will be potty training. Fun...
Then last night I turned around to see him walking, and he sat down. I asked him if he was walking behind my back all the time. That was it though, he started walking lots. Life changes yet again, as we finally hit a milestone we've been wanting to hit for a long time. I don't think Lucas realizes just how proud and excited we are. He loves the attention he's getting from it all though, and I don't blame him one bit (he loves the limelight).
So yes, I'm not officially a mom of a toddler, and you know what, I'm not worried one bit. I don't feel I have a reason to be. I know what's suppose to come ahead, but Lucas is a good enough little boy (he's no longer a baby) that I'm not too worried. I miss him being that little baby boy, but I welcome this new stage of life with a huge embrace.
Our next adventure will be potty training. Fun...
Monday, January 26, 2009
12 weeks and counting
So Marcus is 12 weeks right now, and 13 tomorrow. I honestly looked in the mirror while thinking that and felt old.
Let's see, this year both Eli and I will be 22 this year, Lucas will be 2 (I can't believe it) and Marcus will be one. I'm expecting another niece of nephew this august. My nephew will be 3, my niece 2. Wow, my brother will be legal drinking age in Canada this year (19).
Right now though, we're at 12 weeks and counting. He smiles, he rolls, he talks, he holds his head steady and up, can hold his weight while standing and he tries to sit up. I love seeing these milestones pass, but at the same time, I want to cry because it seems to be going way to quick. He's a cuddler, he loves to stand, he smiles at his brother, his daddy, his grandma and grandpa. He's started to smile at lots of different people. He's also been extremely fussy, and I'm frustrated.
Lucas still loves his brother, and I'm glad he doesn't realize I'm not playing with him as much because I'm spending most of my time rocking, cuddling, feeding, changing, and paying attention to Marcus. I feel horrible because I was doing great at spending time with both boys. Lately though, I haven't been able to. Still, Lucas loves Marcus, love
me, and absolutely adores daddy.
As you can see, Lucas really does adore his brother, and treats him in such a good way compared to how I've seen him treat others around his age and older. I think Marcus realizes when you see him smile and talk to his brother. I know things will work out, I just need to pray, calm down, and remember that things will get better. I need to stay positive, and I need to get a few more hours of sleep, and a night out.
Until then, I'll just cuddle Marcus and Lucas.
Lucas giving Marcus a kiss on the head.
Let's see, this year both Eli and I will be 22 this year, Lucas will be 2 (I can't believe it) and Marcus will be one. I'm expecting another niece of nephew this august. My nephew will be 3, my niece 2. Wow, my brother will be legal drinking age in Canada this year (19).
Right now though, we're at 12 weeks and counting. He smiles, he rolls, he talks, he holds his head steady and up, can hold his weight while standing and he tries to sit up. I love seeing these milestones pass, but at the same time, I want to cry because it seems to be going way to quick. He's a cuddler, he loves to stand, he smiles at his brother, his daddy, his grandma and grandpa. He's started to smile at lots of different people. He's also been extremely fussy, and I'm frustrated.
Lucas still loves his brother, and I'm glad he doesn't realize I'm not playing with him as much because I'm spending most of my time rocking, cuddling, feeding, changing, and paying attention to Marcus. I feel horrible because I was doing great at spending time with both boys. Lately though, I haven't been able to. Still, Lucas loves Marcus, love
me, and absolutely adores daddy.As you can see, Lucas really does adore his brother, and treats him in such a good way compared to how I've seen him treat others around his age and older. I think Marcus realizes when you see him smile and talk to his brother. I know things will work out, I just need to pray, calm down, and remember that things will get better. I need to stay positive, and I need to get a few more hours of sleep, and a night out.
Until then, I'll just cuddle Marcus and Lucas.
Lucas giving Marcus a kiss on the head.
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